Big Sisters Can Cry {Renji Abarai One-Shot for IamZeki}

Picture by Dilleniidae

 



Sacrifice those you love and the life you lived to bring forth the life you want.

I don’t want to say good-bye. I’m afraid to. It’s something I have done too many times. I always feel like crying.

“Captain Fujiwara,” someone calls.

I turn to see Renji running up. “Hello, Abarai-san. It’s nice to see you again.” In truth, I saw him about three minutes ago.

“Ah, I forgot to tell you that Captain Kuchiki is looking for you,” he says. “Sorry.”

I smile. “It’s fine. Thank you for telling me. Where is he?”

“My squad’s barracks.”

“Thanks, Abarai-san.” I wave good-bye before heading in the directions of his squad’s barracks. Turns out Captain Kuchiki wanted to complain about telling Yachiru-san where I had stumbled upon a secret entrance. Yachiru-san now is always in his house. I tell him I’ll offer to give up my stock of candy to her if she stops.

I head to the entrance to the human world. Today is my day off, and I figure it’d be fun to draw in various forests. No one can find me in one of those. When I arrive at my first one, the air is thick. I quickly wrap my white scarf around my face to allow for breathing. My eyes and ears are uncovered so I can keep track of anyone that comes near me. I make sure the scarf does not mess up my hair by only wrapping it along the lower half of my face. My pigtails are as neat as ever.

After drawing a bird sitting on a branch and singing, I start to become tired. Before I realize it, I’m asleep. My dreams are filled with my sisters. Our parents were never home, so I always helped them with their homework. I was the genius of the family. Uinde, despite being my twin, preferred watching anime and manga. I did it too, but I still studied. And then there was Hanako...

“Hey, Yasu Onee-chan, why do you never cry?” she had asked.


“I’m the oldest. I’m even a few minutes older than Uinde. So, it’s my job to be the strong one,” I replied. “If I cry, who will comfort you?”


She smiled. “I still think you should cry once in a while, Yasu onee-chan. Even strong people cry sometimes.”


I ruffled her black hair. It was always a length between Uinde’s short bobs and my long pigtails. “I’ll think about it.”


And then the dream turns sour. Before I realize it, I’m standing in her room, trying desperately to get the ambulance there. I keep shouting, “I don’t have a car! I’m underage! Why would I know how to drive?” She’s dying. She’s gasping for air, and her inhaler was left at school. The world is shaking and blurring. Why can’t I do anything?

“Hanako!” I scream.

I’m no longer in her bedroom. I’m in the forest again. Renji is looking at me. Concern is in his eyes.

“Captain Fujiwara, you were screaming,” he says. “Are you okay?”

“How did you find me?” I ask.

He smiles. “You always come here. Now, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I say.

He puts his hand on my face, and I flinch. He wipes at the corner of my eye. “You’re crying.”

My eyes widen. “Ah, I’m sorry.” I quickly get up. “Please forget you saw that.”

He stands up. “What’s so bad about crying? You should cry once in a while.”

I smile. “It’s nothing. Anyway, let’s go.” I turn to leave.

“Captain Fujiwara, can I ask who Hanako is?”

I freeze. “How do you know that name?”

“You screamed it when you woke up. Plus you kept screaming it in your sleep.”

A tear streaks down my cheek. “She’s no one. Just someone I once knew.”

“Yasu onee-chan, Uinde onee-chan, let’s go!”

Her face was always a smile...

“You can tell me, Captain Fujiwara.”

“If I do, I’ll cry. And I don’t want to cry. A big sister should never cry.”

“I thought you didn’t have any siblings.”

“I don’t. But I did.” I sigh. “Hanako was my younger sister. She died of an asthma attack.”

I get ready to use flash-step to leave, but a strong arm pulls me back. Before I realize it, I’m being held close to Renji. My eyes are wide, and before I can blink I’m in tears. I can’t stop them. I miss her so much. And then I ended up taking a deal that led me to a role that only dead people can take. I’m so stupid. What about Uinde? How is she dealing with this?

“Remember, those you love and hold dear to you will not know you. Those you call your family will not exist.”

My eyes widen. The tears start to flow even faster, and I’m crying into Renji’s chest. I feel so stupid. I miss my sisters. I miss both of them. Uinde never died, but I made it where she never lived either. I’m so mean.

“If you want to go back, you can. Just say so. But I suggest waiting until your memories of why you took the deal come back.”

I can’t wait. I don’t want to. I want to see Uinde’s smiling face again. I want to see her laughing. My life was never bad before I took the deal. There was nothing harmful happening, and I had so many friends. Miyako and Uinde were the best friends I could ask for...

“Abarai-san, how would you feel if I left?” I whisper. The tears are slowing down, and I can breathe easily.

“I would be sad, of course.”

“Why? Just because I’m your friend?”

I have to know before I ask to return...

“No. Because I love you.”

The tears start flowing again. I look up, press me lips into his, and whisper, “I want to see my sister again, Abarai-san. But that requires leaving.”

His arms tighten around me. “Well, it’s okay if you see her, right? I’ll just wait for the day when you can return.”

I smile. “Thank you, Abarai-san. I love you.” I take a deep breath and whisper, “I wish to take the deal back.”

I can feel myself fading. Renji’s arms aren’t something I can feel anymore. The memory of why I took the deal returns at that moment. The red-headed lieutenant with the cool tattoos. Even after taking the deal, I still loved his tattoos. He always made me laugh when he argued with Ichigo. The episodes of Bleach with him in them were always my favorites...

I open my eyes. I’m in my bedroom, under my large black comforter. The white pillows under my head feel so nice. A girl in a pink nightgown with a matching ribbon in her short black hair runs up and jumps onto my bed. “Get up, Yasu!”


I sigh. “I am up, Uinde.”


I climb out of bed and place my feet on the black carpet of my bedroom. It feels so nice. I look at my bedroom walls, covered in Bleach posters. When I took the deal, I was lying in bed, half-asleep. I wanted desperately to escape the pain of Hanako’s death. It only happened a week ago.


“Yasu, you were sleeping so quietly! Were you actually asleep?” asks Uinde.


“Yeah,” I say. “I just had a really nice dream.” Every night since Hanako’s death I had been overwhelmed with nightmares. “I really, really nice dream. I think you would have enjoyed it. Only if you replaced Renji with Shuuhei, though.” I smile sadly. “I was captain of squad 9. I was such a fantastic captain. I had many friends and I was there for a long time. The dream covered an entire year. The only catch was that my family never existed.”


She giggled. “Not sure I would sacrifice my family for that.”


“That’s why I chose to come back.”


She wraps her arms around me. “I’m glad you chose not to live without us.” She pulls away. “Now, what interesting thing happened?”


“Renji said he likes me. Oh, and I kissed him.”


She smirks. “Anything else?”


“I cried. But that’s it.”


“No way! Yasu crying? It was definitely a dream!”


I giggle. “Big sisters can cry.”

Picture by I-Am-Kokoro

Don't Be Afraid to Cry {Alphonse Elric One-Shot for IamZeki}

Sacrifice those you love and the life you lived to bring forth the life you want.

I fear the tears that will fall from my face. I fear them. If I cry, I get hit. That’s how I was raised. Once I took the deal, my scar remained and there was a story to it. It was still caused by my father, just not the same one.

“Xiaolian, there’s someone you should meet.”

I look into the brown eyes of the blonde boy. His smile is so large. My father nudges me. “Well, say hello.”

I feel nervous. “H-Hello,” I manage. “I’m Xiaolian Ts’ao.”

“I’m Alphonse Elric,” he introduces.

A boy that is slightly shorter walks up. “Al, dinner’s ready!”

I quickly bow. “Thank you for helping my father get his papers,” I say in a rush.

I don’t dare to look up. I just wait for him to leave. After the sound of his feet has faded, I hear my father say, “Good job, Xiaolian. You did it so politely.”

“Yes sir.”

---Seven Years Later---

“What do you mean you can’t find it?” I yell into the phone. “It’s important!”

“We lost it,” says the man on the other line. “I’m sorry.”

“That was my only inheritance, you idiot!”

Usually I am not this cold. I can’t help it, though. That katana was my father’s, and he promised I could have it once I became a State Alchemist. Well, here I am. The problem? The people who my father entrusted it to after his death lost it.

In truth, my feelings for the sword are not that strong. I did not grow up with my father. Even so, I figure it’s best to at least fake anger. Besides, I hear it’s a really nice sword.

“We will check again and call you if we find it,” the man says. “Please be patient with us.”

I sigh. “Okay. I will try my best not to show up with my alchemy blazing.” I smile. “Sorry for losing my temper.”

“I should be the one apologizing, Ms. Ts’ao!”

“It’s fine, really. Anyway, I have to go. I’m expecting company soon.”

I hang up the phone, and at that moment the door opens to reveal a boy with golden hair and brown eyes. Next to him is a large suit of armor.

“Hello,” I say. “I take it the one not in a suit of armor is the Fullmetal Alchemist?”

The boy blinks. “Yeah.” He actually looks older than me. “I’m Edward Elric.”

“Yes, yes,” I say. “I’m Xiaolian Ts’ao. Foreign Alchemist. Anyway, before I tell you the information I have, please stand right here.” I point to a spot in front of me.

Edward stands there and looks down at me. My eyebrows knit together in anger. Why is he taller than me? No fair!

“What?” he asks.

I can’t take it anymore. I jump back, point at him, and shout, “I thought they said you were short and not to point it out! I’m shorter than you, dang it! No fair! I thought there were people in the world who were shorter than me!” I sigh and collapse into a chair. Edward looks like he’s about to burst into laughter. “Shut up. Mind introducing your companion? And you both can come in and take a seat.”

“I’m Alphonse, his younger brother,” the suit says. “It’s nice to meet you.”

I blink. If there’s one part of my made-up past I remember more than anything, it’s the small blonde boy introducing himself to me as Alphonse Elric.

“Are you the same one that helped Heng Ts’ao with the paper that stated he owned a certain katana?” I ask. Those papers are now in my desk, locked away tightly for when the sword is recovered. “I remember you! Then a boy who was shorter than you ran up saying that dinner was ready!”

“I’m sorry,” Alphonse says. “I’m not sure I remember that.”

“I do,” Edward says. “You were talking to a short girl with dark, dark brown hair put into two braids. She was dressed kind of odd. Sort of like how Ling dresses.”

“Ling? As in the one that came here in search of the stone? I’m from the same clan as him!” I pause. “Well, my father was.” I feel my chest clench. Why? It’s not like I ever cared for my father. Either of them.

The door opens and a girl with blonde hair and green eyes pokes her head in. “Ms. Ts’ao, you have a phone call.”

“From who?” I ask.

“I think you should learn yourself.”

I sigh. “Excuse me, Erlic brothers.” I walk out the room and grab the phone. “Yeah?”

“We caught a man with black hair and brown eyes. He was almost starved and on his way to Xing. He says his name is Heng Ts’ao. Could he be your father?”

I clench my fists. I feel like smashing the phone. “So that pathetic man is alive? I’ll come to identify him. Give me the location.” After writing down the location I say, “Okay. I have guests at the moment. I should be there in an hour.”

I hang up the phone and walk back into my office. “Edward, Alphonse, this folder has the information I wish to supply you with. I’m sorry I have to leave so suddenly. They found an acquaintance of mine.”

“It’s fine,” Alphonse says. “Thank you for the information.”

“Yeah,” Edward says. “Thanks.”

Upon arriving at the jail, I’m really mad. The police hand me over a katana that the man had with him. I now feel like killing the man. “Let me see him,” I say as I position the katana across my back.

The man has caved in cheeks and sunken brown eyes. He is wearing clothes that are mere rags of the nice clothes they previously show signs of being. Even so, his hands still show signs of the fury he once had.

“Xiaolian,” he says with a smile. “So nice of you to come for me.”

I look the police. “Can you keep him here? This man has no place with me, and if you release him he’ll just flee again. Of course, I’ll be keeping my katana.”

“Xiaolian, why won’t you take me with you?” His voice is so raspy.

I turn at angry brown eye on the man known as my father. “Should I show you the scar you left on my back?” That quiets him, so I say farewell to the police officer and head towards home. I’m in no mood to head back to my office.

“Ms. Ts’ao,” says a familiar voice.

I turn around to see a large suit of armor. “Alphonse Elric, so nice to see you. Where is your brother?”

“He went somewhere. I’m waiting for him.”

“What a nice brother you are.” I smile. It is so fake, but I have mastered making them look real. “Anyway, I should be going. It was nice to see you so soon.”

I turn to leave, but I hear Alphonse say, “It’s okay to cry once in a while. I can’t cry anymore, really. I miss being able to let tears flow. So, don’t hold it in. Because one day, you may lose your chance.”

The tears have been threatening to come. I will admit that. Even just thinking of the pain my real father caused me frightens me. The pain caused by my fake father, though some may think intense, was no more intense than that of my real father. I can’t hold it in anymore...

Tears start to flow. I’m so sad. I can’t help but feel upset. I leave me life to be away from my cold father, and I still get one. It’s unfair. I am reminded everyday that I can’t escape cruelty whenever I look at my back in the mirror. The large scar. In my old life, caused by my father when he hit me once. I don’t remember what with. In this life, caused by my father with a whip.

“Isn’t it better when you let them out?” he asks.

I nod my head. It is. Even so, with the cruel life I’ve been dealt, isn’t it reasonable that I fear them?

-

Alphonse spent a lot of time talking to me. It made me feel better. By time I have to head home, I’m happy.

“Hey, Al,” I say with a large grin. “Make sure I’m the first one you tell when you get your body back!” I feel my cheeks go red. “Then I’ll make sure I give you a big kiss! Just so you know what it feels like when someone who likes you kisses you!” I quickly turn around are start running.

When I get home, I am panting for air. The next day, there’s a note in my office that from Alphonse. It says, “Does this mean you like me? Because I really like you too.”

My heart flutters. Then I force myself to ask one question: What type of like does he mean? He seems a little innocent to realize that there’s a major difference...

The Only Name {OHSHC One-Shot for SarahG(Blogger)}

"Lilly, stop. Why would you waste your time there?"

"It's not that bad," I say with a shrug. "Besides, they're having a Valentine's day special even. I know you like this holiday."

"Yeah, but you don't."

I shrug again. "C'mon. Celebrate it with me. You're going back to America after this week and you never let me come here after school."

So, I manage to pull her there with much fighting. "Lilly-chan, you haven't been here for a while," says one of the Hitachiin twins. "We were getting worried."

My cheeks turn a slight pink. "I'm fine, Koaru. I couldn't get Alice-chan to come," I explain, motioning to my friend. "It took a bit of arguing."

"Oh? A first timer?" asks the blonde prince better known as Tamaki.

"Yes," I say. "I was planning on putting her with Kyoya."

So, I go to the twins, but we all three watch Alice carefully. She smiles at times, but it's pretty obvious she dislikes it.

I sigh. "What am I going to do?" I ask the twins. "I have been trying to get her to enjoy herself, but she's American at heart. Not Asian like me."

"But you're American, Lilly-chan," argued Hikaru.

I smile. "Well, in my heart I'm Asian. In my actual makeup, I'm American." I sigh. "Well, I should take her home, See you all in class tomorrow."

So, Alice and I end up getting picked up by my mom. She was just headed back from shopping.

"So, how was school?" my mom asks.

"It was fine," I say. "I finally got to visit the club again."

"The one Yasu-chan forced you to?"

I nod. "Yeah. It's fun there."

"And how is Koaru-san?"

"He's same as ever."

Alice's eyes light up. "Lilly, you're blushing!"

"Shut up!" I exclaim.

---

That night, I drag Alice out again. This time it's a dance. I wear a long red dress that goes down to my feet and covers my red flats. Alice wears a pink sleeveless dress that goes with a white jacket. I am immediately dancing with Koaru, and she finds herself with Tamaki. I decide she's in good hands and concentrate on myself.

"Hey, where's Alice?" Koaru suddenly asks. "She's gone."

"Huh?" I scan the room quickly. "Oh no, she is gone! What if she got lost?"

I quickly wander the room, but she's gone. I scan multiple rooms and eventually find her walking out of the rose maze with Tamaki. They were hand in hand and Alice was blushing a bit.

"I'll ask you about it tomorrow," I say with a dismissive wave. "See you."

And so I leave her.

Of course it was Tamaki. He was the only name she could ever remember...

That Person {A Kiba(the anime) One-Shot}

 

I looked at the crystal blue water that filled the lake. The land of Tempura was so calm since the war ender. To think that Tasker had not only been resurrected but also defeated. A normal guy from a foreign land called Calm had done it all. Yet, where was he? He had not returned since that time. I did not know him, but my friend Roia was always talking of him.

"Namida-chan," said Roia’s friendly voice, "it’s time to head back."

"Okay, Roia-nee-chan," I said, using the older sister ending I always did.

I got up and grabbed my bag. I then noticed that she had Noah with her. He smiled at me and I did the same. I really did enjoy talking to him. Calm sounded so interesting when he talked of it. Sure, it sounded like times were tough and the air was dirty, but I did not care. I wanted to see it myself.

"Noah-san," I said with a smile and a polite bow.

"Hello, Namida-chan," he said.

Even though I called him by a formal name he used friendly ones. I had requested it, though I was polite to everyone. Roia walked to Noah and started to push his wheelchair. We talked happily about how nice times were. Yet, were they always nice? No, they were once difficult.

*Flashback*

"Namida-san, you must run!" shouted one of the maids.

A sword suddenly went through her. I started to quiver, my red eyes wide. I screamed, my white hair waving wildly in the hot wind. Where was my family? I fell to my knees before the Jimoto soldier. He grinned and grabbed me by my hair.

"Die, Neotopian!" he shouted.

I closed my eyes, waiting for the blow. Yet it never came. My hair was released and fell back to my shoulder. I dared to open my eyes, though I knew I may regret it. But what I saw was a figure standing among the burning buildings that surrounded me. He quickly ran to me, his white hair waving in the wind.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded my head and wiped my tears. He helped me to my feet.

"Who are you?" I asked.

Before he could answer more shoulder appeared. Instead he said, "Run!"

I was about to flee, but rather I hid behind a nearby building. There were ten Beastmen and five Jimoto soldiers. I watched as the white-haired guy pulled out a spirit from his arm and threw it up.

"Rambos!" he shouted.

The soldiers threw up their own spirits. He gritted his teeth and pulled out another spirit.

He has two spirits! I thought, my eyes wide.

"Amil Gaoil!" he shouted.

I gasped at the key spirit being summoned. But still, they were outnumbered. Without thinking I ran to the battle.

"Hey, get back!" the white-haired guy shouted.

"Make me!" I shouted. I clapped my hands together, light emanating from them. I then threw up a spirit shard as I shouted, "Neruio!"

Out came a large, feminine spirit. It was green and had grass entwining its body. Yet what was most noticeable, I thought, was the black cat tail and matching ears.

"Don’t let me down!" I shouted again.

I pulled out a couple of shards and threw them at the soldiers.

"I don’t think that fifteen against one is fair," I said.

I started to throw the yellow orbs at the soldiers and Beastmen, the white-haired guy backing me up. Once we defeated them, which took some time, he looked at me coldly.

"Why did you not stand up for yourself back there?" he asked.

"Because," I said, "I don’t usually fight. I have little experience in combat. That’s why I focused on the soldiers. Neruio is much more skilled."

"Then why did you bother to fight?" he asked.

"Because," I said again, "I have always run away. Now, as a Neotopian citizen, I must stand up for my beliefs!"

"Neotopia has fallen," he said, "and so have the Ultimate Rules."

I nodded my head and said, "I’ll go and recreate Neotopia! As long as I am alive it will remain!"

And then I ran off...

*Flashback Over*

To think that I never knew that guy’s name. He didn’t introduce himself even and I never introduced myself.

"Namida-chan, what are you thinking about?" asked Roia.

I smiled and said, "Nothing, Roya-nee-chan."

"The war again?" asked Noah.

I stopped smiling, my face neutral, as I said, "Why do I bother hiding it from you, Noah-san?"

"What part were you thinking of?" asked Roia.

"A guy I met when Neotopia fell," I said. "A guy that never gave me his name."

"Do you have something to tell him from, Namida-chan?" asked Noah.

"Only his two spirits," I said. "Yet, I think that I would not rather say their names. After all, it makes it like my own secret, right?"

Inspired Happiness {Tamaki Suoh One-Shot for XxXZuruiKitsuneXxX}

Sacrifice those you love and the life you lived to bring forth the life you want.

Happiness. Joy. Felicity.

Whatever you want to call it, that is what I like to see. Happiness when the world is collapsing. I want to be optimistic. And I was as optimistic as I could be while struggling to get by in the world.

"Hasegawa-san, what could you be up to outside the clubroom like this?"

I turn to see Tamaki Suoh looking down at me, a large smile on his face. I feel my face go red and getting caught. "I was looking for someone," I explain. "Then I forgot that they had to go home when school ended today. So, I'll be leaving."

I turn to leave, and I refuse to give him a chance to answer.

When I get home, I am greated by my father. Apparantely he has another boy he wants me to meet. His name was Yukio Yamamoto, and he is supposed to be inheriting his family's company since his twin brother doesn't want to take it seriously.

"It's nice to meet you," I say.

He's younger than me, but he is a rival for Haruhi Fujioka as top of the class.

"I'm sorry you have to be put through this, Hasegawa Mika-san," he says. "In all honesty, I have no intention of getting married."

"That makes two of us," I say.

My father is angry now. I bite my lip. I probably just unlocked all of his fury. Hopefully he doesn't unleash it.

So, we go through with the dinner and say our farewells. We don't plan on meeting again. Even though I refuse to admit it, I actually have someone I already like. Someone who is happy and lights up the room.

"I'm going to bed," I tell my father. "Goodnight."

He is obviously angry. In truth, I this is the third guy this month that I have rejected. He is probably reaching his limit.

The next day, I arrive at school and take my normal seat. Tamaki Suoh is next to me, but I try to keep my eyes glued to my desk.

"Hasegawa-san, I saw you yesterday," Tamaki suddenly says.

"Huh?" I ask. Then it clicks. "Oh, yeah. I really wish I could have just skipped that entire meal."

"Why?" he asks. "Did you not enjoy yourself?"

"Not really," I admit. "If I start to date and eventually marry a guy, I want it to be because I love him."

"That's an eccelent viewpoint," he says. "Marriage that is picked for you is never good."

I nod. "I'm glad someone at least agrees with me."

After school, I walk towards the exit. My father just called and is really angry. I'm reading to run away to a park or something.

On my way out, I get stopped by the blonde prince, Tamaki. "Hasegaway-san, why not come to the club?"

"Ah, thanks for the invite," I say. I think for a moment. Tamaki's smile always cheers me up. "Okay, I'll go."

The host club isn't that bad. Tamaki flirts with everyone, but he doesn't flirt strongly with me. It's as if he's handling a fragile rose which will bruise with the slightest movement. After the club has ended, we walk out together.

"I enjoyed myself," I say. "Thank you."

He smiles at me. "I did too. Thanks for coming, Hasegawa-san."

I nod. "I needed to relax."

"Is something bothering you?"

I nod again. "My dad. He's always bothering me. He's upset since he recently found out I've been looking into medical school. Is it so wrong to not want to inherit the family business?"

"I think it's actually fine to want to be a doctor," he says. "Someone like you helps people naturally, though."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you realize it? When people are around you, they can't help but be happy."

I laugh. "I think you've got it wrong. You're the one that keeps people happy."

"Well, then how about it's that way with both of us?"

"I like that idea."

We have reached the door. We stop, and turn to face one another. Before I realize it, his lips are against mine. For that moment, I feel happy.

Many images pass through my mind. Images of being upset but cheering up the moment I see him on television. His happiness was always something that kept me going...

When we pull apart, my cheeks are deep red. He says, "I love you, Hasegawa-san."

I nod my head frantically. "I love you too."

In My Past {Sasuke Uchiha One-Shot for MikaYukiko}

Sacrifice those you love and the life you lived to bring forth the life you want.

It is tiresome being a ninja. Of course, it's not as tiresome as my old life. Adoptive parents that hated me, a brother put up for adoption, a life where I was forced to keep high grades. I hated it.

"Mika, did you forget we were supposed to be training?"

I turn around to look at the dark eyes of Sasuke Uchiha. "Yeah," I admit. "I guess I got distracted."

"I understand if it's eating, but how did you get distracted if you're in a tree?"

I shrug. "It's a nice way to take my mind off of my past."

He obviously thinks I'm talking about the past given to me upon my arrival here. The one where everyone in my village was killed when I was five and I was taken to the leaf village and placed under the car of Kakashi, my squad's leader, until I graduated from the ninja academy and became a ninja.

I head back with Sasuke, and upon arrival I'm told to spar. Sasuke and I are sparring partners today. As we fight, I find my mind slipping away. I am seeing the anger of my parents as they slap me and lock me in my room for getting a B on a math quiz.

I snap back to reality when my kunai flies from my hand and I am pinned against a tree with a kunai at my neck. My chocolate brown eyes are wide.

"What happened?" Sasuke asks. "Your moves were sloppy. Usually it takes a while to disarm you."

"It's nothing," I say as I push him away. "I'm just tired."

"Then maybe you should rest," Kakashi says.

I shake my head. "It's nothing that rest will help."

"Is it about your past?"

I nod. I know it's not the past that they think. Even so, I am thinking of my past.

"It's not like you to get distracted," Sasuke says. "What part is bothering you?"

"It's nothing," I say, my voice raising. "I think I'll take your offer and rest, Kakashi-sensei." I quickly run off.

When I'm in my house, I curl onto the couch and hug my knees. In truth, I've been wondering what would have happened if I had refused the deal to come here. It's not like I even remember why I took the deal. I just took it. After a dream where I graduated from high school, got a scholarship to a good college, and raised a fantastic family with no contact with my adoptive parents at all, I've been thinking of it a lot. All I've done here is put my life in danger. Being a ninja is an honor, I know. But why did I take this deal?

I change out of my training clothes and put on a pair of shorts with a black cami. I then tie my brown hair up into a ponytail. I feel my right shoulder without realizing it. I cringe. It's still tender.

"Maybe that's why," I tell myself. I received this scar the day I was offered the deal. It was from getting the second highest test score in my science class. I think that's why I decided to take it. I was tired of abuse for failing. They spat words like "failure" and "pathetic excuse for a human being" at me. And I just took it.

Now I'm in tears. I don't even hear the door open. In walks Sasuke, though I don't even notice. I'm too absorbed in crying. Ninja aren't supposed to cry. I know that. So why can't I stop?

A warm arm wraps around me, and before I realize it I'm crying into Sasuke's chest. Normally I wouldn't do that.

"What happened to the laid-back, carefree, lazy, and sarcastic girl I knew so well?" he asks. "The girl with brains that rival my own. The girl that never lets others see her pain and flips out if someone else is in pain? The girl I fell in love with?"

I feel my cheeks go red. "She's still here," I say through tears, though it's quiet. "She just needs to let it out once in a while."

"She can tell me her pain," he says. "I'm sure I can help her out."

I look up at him. His eyes are actually sad. It hurts me to think I caused him sadness. I lean up and press my lips into him, but it's only for a moment. I quickly pull away, my cheeks now an even deeper shade of red. "I love you, Sasuke," I whisper.

He smirks. "I love you too."

"Yeah, you already told me that." I press my lips back into his. This moment replaces all the ones in my pasts, and I suddenly remember why I took the deal.

"I'll really get to meet Sasuke? And I'll get to be with him?"

So, I sacrificed it all for this one moment of happiness. I don't know about you, but I think I took a pretty good deal.