Don't Be Afraid to Cry {Alphonse Elric One-Shot for IamZeki}

Sacrifice those you love and the life you lived to bring forth the life you want.

I fear the tears that will fall from my face. I fear them. If I cry, I get hit. That’s how I was raised. Once I took the deal, my scar remained and there was a story to it. It was still caused by my father, just not the same one.

“Xiaolian, there’s someone you should meet.”

I look into the brown eyes of the blonde boy. His smile is so large. My father nudges me. “Well, say hello.”

I feel nervous. “H-Hello,” I manage. “I’m Xiaolian Ts’ao.”

“I’m Alphonse Elric,” he introduces.

A boy that is slightly shorter walks up. “Al, dinner’s ready!”

I quickly bow. “Thank you for helping my father get his papers,” I say in a rush.

I don’t dare to look up. I just wait for him to leave. After the sound of his feet has faded, I hear my father say, “Good job, Xiaolian. You did it so politely.”

“Yes sir.”

---Seven Years Later---

“What do you mean you can’t find it?” I yell into the phone. “It’s important!”

“We lost it,” says the man on the other line. “I’m sorry.”

“That was my only inheritance, you idiot!”

Usually I am not this cold. I can’t help it, though. That katana was my father’s, and he promised I could have it once I became a State Alchemist. Well, here I am. The problem? The people who my father entrusted it to after his death lost it.

In truth, my feelings for the sword are not that strong. I did not grow up with my father. Even so, I figure it’s best to at least fake anger. Besides, I hear it’s a really nice sword.

“We will check again and call you if we find it,” the man says. “Please be patient with us.”

I sigh. “Okay. I will try my best not to show up with my alchemy blazing.” I smile. “Sorry for losing my temper.”

“I should be the one apologizing, Ms. Ts’ao!”

“It’s fine, really. Anyway, I have to go. I’m expecting company soon.”

I hang up the phone, and at that moment the door opens to reveal a boy with golden hair and brown eyes. Next to him is a large suit of armor.

“Hello,” I say. “I take it the one not in a suit of armor is the Fullmetal Alchemist?”

The boy blinks. “Yeah.” He actually looks older than me. “I’m Edward Elric.”

“Yes, yes,” I say. “I’m Xiaolian Ts’ao. Foreign Alchemist. Anyway, before I tell you the information I have, please stand right here.” I point to a spot in front of me.

Edward stands there and looks down at me. My eyebrows knit together in anger. Why is he taller than me? No fair!

“What?” he asks.

I can’t take it anymore. I jump back, point at him, and shout, “I thought they said you were short and not to point it out! I’m shorter than you, dang it! No fair! I thought there were people in the world who were shorter than me!” I sigh and collapse into a chair. Edward looks like he’s about to burst into laughter. “Shut up. Mind introducing your companion? And you both can come in and take a seat.”

“I’m Alphonse, his younger brother,” the suit says. “It’s nice to meet you.”

I blink. If there’s one part of my made-up past I remember more than anything, it’s the small blonde boy introducing himself to me as Alphonse Elric.

“Are you the same one that helped Heng Ts’ao with the paper that stated he owned a certain katana?” I ask. Those papers are now in my desk, locked away tightly for when the sword is recovered. “I remember you! Then a boy who was shorter than you ran up saying that dinner was ready!”

“I’m sorry,” Alphonse says. “I’m not sure I remember that.”

“I do,” Edward says. “You were talking to a short girl with dark, dark brown hair put into two braids. She was dressed kind of odd. Sort of like how Ling dresses.”

“Ling? As in the one that came here in search of the stone? I’m from the same clan as him!” I pause. “Well, my father was.” I feel my chest clench. Why? It’s not like I ever cared for my father. Either of them.

The door opens and a girl with blonde hair and green eyes pokes her head in. “Ms. Ts’ao, you have a phone call.”

“From who?” I ask.

“I think you should learn yourself.”

I sigh. “Excuse me, Erlic brothers.” I walk out the room and grab the phone. “Yeah?”

“We caught a man with black hair and brown eyes. He was almost starved and on his way to Xing. He says his name is Heng Ts’ao. Could he be your father?”

I clench my fists. I feel like smashing the phone. “So that pathetic man is alive? I’ll come to identify him. Give me the location.” After writing down the location I say, “Okay. I have guests at the moment. I should be there in an hour.”

I hang up the phone and walk back into my office. “Edward, Alphonse, this folder has the information I wish to supply you with. I’m sorry I have to leave so suddenly. They found an acquaintance of mine.”

“It’s fine,” Alphonse says. “Thank you for the information.”

“Yeah,” Edward says. “Thanks.”

Upon arriving at the jail, I’m really mad. The police hand me over a katana that the man had with him. I now feel like killing the man. “Let me see him,” I say as I position the katana across my back.

The man has caved in cheeks and sunken brown eyes. He is wearing clothes that are mere rags of the nice clothes they previously show signs of being. Even so, his hands still show signs of the fury he once had.

“Xiaolian,” he says with a smile. “So nice of you to come for me.”

I look the police. “Can you keep him here? This man has no place with me, and if you release him he’ll just flee again. Of course, I’ll be keeping my katana.”

“Xiaolian, why won’t you take me with you?” His voice is so raspy.

I turn at angry brown eye on the man known as my father. “Should I show you the scar you left on my back?” That quiets him, so I say farewell to the police officer and head towards home. I’m in no mood to head back to my office.

“Ms. Ts’ao,” says a familiar voice.

I turn around to see a large suit of armor. “Alphonse Elric, so nice to see you. Where is your brother?”

“He went somewhere. I’m waiting for him.”

“What a nice brother you are.” I smile. It is so fake, but I have mastered making them look real. “Anyway, I should be going. It was nice to see you so soon.”

I turn to leave, but I hear Alphonse say, “It’s okay to cry once in a while. I can’t cry anymore, really. I miss being able to let tears flow. So, don’t hold it in. Because one day, you may lose your chance.”

The tears have been threatening to come. I will admit that. Even just thinking of the pain my real father caused me frightens me. The pain caused by my fake father, though some may think intense, was no more intense than that of my real father. I can’t hold it in anymore...

Tears start to flow. I’m so sad. I can’t help but feel upset. I leave me life to be away from my cold father, and I still get one. It’s unfair. I am reminded everyday that I can’t escape cruelty whenever I look at my back in the mirror. The large scar. In my old life, caused by my father when he hit me once. I don’t remember what with. In this life, caused by my father with a whip.

“Isn’t it better when you let them out?” he asks.

I nod my head. It is. Even so, with the cruel life I’ve been dealt, isn’t it reasonable that I fear them?

-

Alphonse spent a lot of time talking to me. It made me feel better. By time I have to head home, I’m happy.

“Hey, Al,” I say with a large grin. “Make sure I’m the first one you tell when you get your body back!” I feel my cheeks go red. “Then I’ll make sure I give you a big kiss! Just so you know what it feels like when someone who likes you kisses you!” I quickly turn around are start running.

When I get home, I am panting for air. The next day, there’s a note in my office that from Alphonse. It says, “Does this mean you like me? Because I really like you too.”

My heart flutters. Then I force myself to ask one question: What type of like does he mean? He seems a little innocent to realize that there’s a major difference...