❤ What Are You Thinking? ❤

 

Sacrifice those you love and the life you lived to bring forth the life you want

I took that deal a month ago. I don't remember why. All I know is that I accepted it, and next thing I knew I was waking up in a completely different world. The thing is, my past life stayed with me, though I knew every detail of my new one. I knew that I grew up with Gin and Rangiku. I knew that I graduated from the academy within a year of entrance. I was top of my class, too.

As I remember all of that, I also remember the majority of my actual life. Some parts are filled with emptiness. For example, at times I'm watching a fuzzy television screen. I think it has to do with the deal I made.

"Good morning, Mika," says a cheerful voice.

I turn around to face Gin Ichimaru, the love of my life. As far as I know, it's one-sided. As far as he knows, I have no feelings for him. Oh well, I'll get there one day.

"Good morning, Captain Ichimaru," I say, adding a laugh as I say his name. I wish I was in his squad. Although it's nice to be with Rangiku, I'd get to be closer while in his squad. "Out for a walk?"

"Yes," he says. He holds up a dried fruit. "Dried perssimon?"

I smile and accept the fruit. "Thank you." I tilt my head to the side. "Mind if I join you?"

He nods. "Go ahead."

So, we start to walk. I can never tell what Gin is thinking, though I spend as much time as possible with him. It's a bit frustrating. Kind of like how he never shows his eyes.

"What are you staring at me for, Mika?" he asks.

My cheeks go red. "Nothing at all." I quickly turn away.

He pokes my cheek playfully. "Come on, tell me, Mika. Your cheeks are all red."

"It's nothing," I say again. He keeps poking, so with a sigh I say, "IwasjustthinkinghowIcanneverunderstandwhatyou'rethinking." I take a deep breath so I can say another flurry of words. "AndalsohowIneverseeyoureyesandthereforedon'tknowtheircolor."

I pray deep inside that he has no idea what I said. That would require a lot of speed, I know. I just hope I put in enough.

I feel Gin's hand in mine, and I can tell the red in my cheeks, which was just starting to fade, has returned. Great.

"You want to know what I'm thinking?" he asks as he turns to me.

I nod my head. "Yeah."

We stop and he turns towards me. His lips press into mine. In that moment, I remember why the deal was accepted. It was for Gin. I had loved him so much. He had filled the void my parents left while they were gone.

When he pulls away he says, "I'm thinking I love you."